Me, Myself, and I

Well, I guess I'm back! Nice to have place to share your thoughts and just get them out and put them out there, y'know?

You know what? I kinda suck at friendship. I want to have a lot in common and make an emotional connection and then I want to just jump in and get to know a person really quickly, and sometimes that's just not the way it naturally goes and you can't force it. I guess I'm at least partially clueless when it comes to relating to people.

I love people and I love meeting and interacting with people. I'm somewhat of an extrovert sometimes and when I've been housebound a lot, I just really crave getting out and being with others. I have so few outlets for that, though. Most of my friends are online. I have a couple good friends IRL, but they're busy with their own lives and it doesn't work out for us to get together that often. I don't know. I just wish I had someone that I could feel comfortable sharing pretty much anything with and we would just get each other, you know? I have that with my husband and I am so lucky and blessed and thankful to have that. He truly is my best friend and I wouldn't want it any other way. However, I still want and crave friends. Good friends. Maybe some of that has to do with the fact that I have no family nearby. I talk to my dad on the phone pretty often, but they live a few states away.

Something else I wanted to discuss is that sometimes, when I do have a promising friendship, I kind of retreat and procrastinate. It might partially be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing to put the person off and maybe also getting discouraged or impatient if the friendship doesn't move along fast enough. I know those are unhealthy ways of thinking, but - ugh - that seems to be how it goes. It's a bit depressing.

I am very, very thankful for my family and friends and love and appreciate them very much. I think I will pray about making more close friends. I know God cares about this and lots of other little and big things and I'm also so very grateful for Him.